


Rewriting History at Torchwood - Tenth Doctor Interlude

by Sharanesu



Series: Rewriting History at Torchwood Saga [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, Regeneration, Retrospective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:23:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharanesu/pseuds/Sharanesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Tenth Doctor is dying after being poisoned by a lethal dose of Radiation but he has one more journey to make before he regenerates into his Eleventh Body.  He has to visit Jack and give him a message of hope.  Set during the Story - Rewriting History at Torchwood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rewriting History at Torchwood - Tenth Doctor Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> Written in honour of Annakas who left a comment on the story and got me thinking about what the Tenth Doctor thought about as he was ready to die. So here it is.  
> Disclaimer - Not Mine.

Tenth Doctor Interlude:

The Doctor considered the piece of paper in his hand and wondered once again if he should change the wording. He’d kept it simple, to the point but what if Jack didn’t understand? No, he would – he has too. Jack knows him maybe better than he knows himself...no, let’s put that right. Jack will know him. Bloody time travel, the Doctor considers with a sad smile. It messes up your life, it turns it inside out and then...oh, then it gives you something wonderful as well as unexpected. However, there will be a price. A big one. For now, there needs to be a sacrifice.

Yes, the note is enough, he decides. He’s growing weaker and he knows this will be the last time he’ll ever see Jack with this incarnation’s eyes. He kept this meeting for the last; he’d just seen his beloved Rose, heard her innocent laugh and now held that close to his heart as he takes his last steps. He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want this body to die but fate has chosen for him but at least he has something to hold onto. A hope that one day he’ll be in Jack’s arms.

The first time he’d seen him – John Smith – had been on the Valiant during the ‘Year That Wasn’t’ with the Master ruling the earth. He’d felt something strange for a while, this knowledge that somewhere another version of him was near. Then it had vanished and he’d thought nothing of it. Crossing your own timeline was forbidden and made a real mess of your memories. Yet, as he sat in the control room of the Valiant he’d felt a whisper of something he recognised. A mind that was so in tune with his that he knew it was no other than another incarnation of himself. He’d felt it before on different occasions. It was a feeling that made your skin crawl and your teeth ache. Not a nice feeling, but it wasn’t partially unwelcome either. He’d felt it the strongest back in his 5th body on the Death Zone when Borusa had tried to become immortal following in Rassilon’s footsteps. He never really got on with his past

lives, a lot of them caused him sleepless nights even now (Six was a nightmare.) Unfortunately, he’d quickly come to the realisation that this wasn’t a past incarnation. This was his future which lead to a whole load of new problems.

He’d sat frozen in the wheelchair as the Master danced around the room with glee at capturing Jack’s Torchwood team. He’d not recognised them, but as soon as he met ancient green eyes he’d known. Yet, there was something so very wrong with that picture. At first it took him a while to work it out, but to his horror he discovered that in those very human eyes there was no sign of his Time Lord consciousness. Yet, it wasn’t like he’d used the chameleon device again, the body was his (his future body) and the mind was his (his future mind) but everything was just...Wrong!

He’d felt ill with shock as he stared at the young man who calmly returned his gaze with no hint of recognition. Is this what I am to become? His mind cried rebelling against the very idea of losing everything he is and was.

“Oh this one, this one!” His mind picks up on what the Master is saying as he walks around the young man. “I smell him all over you. The Freak’s little pet.”

The Master was right as the Doctor concentrated on using his superior, though aged senses, he picked up the scent too. The boy smelled like him, yet the distinct Time Lord scent was covered by other overpowering smells. The first was an opiate, the second was pain but the third scent was Jack. Jack’s claim was all over his skin, lingering even after months of being apart because it was so deeply ingrained. They were lovers. Fortunately, the Master had missed seeing the Doctor’s essence; it would be easy because of the almost overpowering scent of the opiate he was using. Yet, surely he’d hear the two heart beats? The Doctor reached out with what remained of his hearing, pushing his aged body and gasped in alarm as his ears only heard a singular rhythm.

The Master ignored him, having better prey to play with and didn’t see the tears in his eyes. Those tears continued as the insane Time Lord had the boy stripped and spread naked across the conference table. He could see the scars, the track marks and the tattoos. Some he recognised. Around the boy’s left wrist was a barbed wire tattoo that twisted around a couple of fingers and he instantly understood what that meant. A flash of memory filled his mind of that Christmas morning along with the pain of losing his hand in a sword fight. The boy had been on earth for a long time, maybe as long as either of his previous incarnation had. He’d been here all along; broken, lost and abandoned.

“You smell of the freak,” he heard the Master taunt once again. The boy didn’t answer and he glared at the Master in such a way that it made him pause. Cruel eyes flashed and the Doctor feared that the Master had discovered something was different with this human. For a long moment there was silence, but then the Master appeared to dismiss this idea and returned to raping his future self. His human companions screamed for the insane Time Lord to stop and for the first time he heard the name.

“John! John!”

He felt like laughing but instead tears had choked him. The Master finished with John, shoving aside the pale and bleeding body when he’d finished.

“Take him to the freak,” he’d ordered his guards and for the last time the Doctor caught John’s eyes. Something passed between them, a feeling, a thought maybe, or just simple recognition. For a second the Doctor felt John’s pain, heard the screaming inside his head, the agony of his deformed body and the hidden spark of his Time Lord mind. Fear lifted from his heart as John was dragged from the room and he knew he’d not see him again, but deep down he had hope. He’d pushed the sounds of death away from his mind and concentrated back on the Archangel network. New hope fuelled him and he knew that he would succeed. The presence of his future self had proved it.

He’d felt John die that night; the Master had taken great pleasure in killing him while Jack, screaming for his lover had watched. Their minds had touched once again and the Doctor promised him it would be okay – that he would return him to Jack once  
again. In the end, his plan had succeeded and he’d turned back that year as if it had never happened. For the people present they remembered it and the Doctor ached to tell Jack the truth about John. He’d considered it as they stood at the Plass in Cardiff and he’d asked Jack to come with him. Part of him wished with both hearts that Jack would say yes, that maybe he too could experience what his future self had, but in the end it wasn’t his fate. Fate had a different plan for him. With a breaking heart he’d watched Jack walk away, back into John’s arms and he knew this would be the last time he’d be with his beloved immortal.

After that he’d travelled alone, hurt and afraid of his future but then he’d met Donna. Oh, his beloved Donna! There had never been anyone like her and he’d loved every second they spent together. Yet, fate had taken her away from him too. He’d been so angry, so alone that he wanted – no, needed to see Jack. He’d stood in the rain around 2am one morning, outside the Hub and watched two men walking under an umbrella. They had been eating hot salty chips, laughing and giggling as John jumped into the bigger puddles. Soon the umbrella and food was forgotten, thrown aside as the two lovers chased each other through the rain, laughing with childlike joy. Jack had caught John, pulled him close with a smile that made the Doctor’s hearts ache. Their lips had touched, gentle and soft to start with but soon passion was alight between them.

He’d left then, hurting and angry but also prepared. It wasn’t time for him and Jack, not yet. He had to wait, even though the impatience was killing him. He knew there would be pain, suffering and heartache. He knew that someone would defile his body and break his mind, but he found comfort knowing that Jack would be there. Jack would hold him together. Jack would love him completely. He’d left Cardiff, heart a little lighter but with anger still burning inside him. Why couldn’t he have what his future self had? Why couldn’t he touch and hold Jack? Why couldn’t he feel love?

That was problem. He didn’t feel love not like any human needed him to do. Not the desperate, all consuming love Jack and John shared. Time lords didn’t love like that; maybe they didn’t have the ability to do so. He had little sex drive and his mind was never still enough to actually think about sex when he had it. Maybe everything had to be stripped away until he could learn how to love? To be with Jack the price might be losing everything he was. That thought terrified him. The cruelties that had been done to his future body had been soul crushing, they would take everything he is and yet, in the darkness of his loss he would find something special. He would find Jack.

The Doctor curled the piece of paper in his hand almost ready to screw it up and throw it away. He could change the future; he could find his Eleventh self and stop this. He could stop those who hurt him, find them – kill them. He could... The Doctor sighed and once again flattened the now crumpled paper. He stroked the bent edges flat and looked again at the smudged words.

“Find me; I am where you left me.”

His hands were shaking as his whole body was weakening from the radiation poisoning. He was running out of time. Soon he’ll regenerate into that new face, with the big hair and ridiculous chin. He was terrified, angry and afraid but at the same time hopeful. His mind was made up so he pushed the thoughts of John and his identity into the furthest recesses of his mind. He had to forget, he had to let time and fate flow as it should do – as it was meant to do. Yet, with his death he could give his future self one special gift. He could give John his life back – his real essence.

With new determination he walked out into the noisy bar, watched Jack and waited for those blue eyes to meet his. He wished he could say he loved Jack, wished he’d could whisper those words with a goodbye kiss but that was beyond him. Jack hadn’t taught him to love yet, but he will and the Doctor was so looking forward to that. Jack’s eyes were filled with grief but he smiled giving him a little salute. It surprised the Doctor that Jack understood what was happening, that he was saying goodbye. It warmed him to think Jack had feelings for him even in this body. He’d wanted to speak, to stay and have Jack hold him as he died but that would change his future. He couldn’t, not if he wanted the relationship they would have.

See you soon; the Doctor thought as he turned away leaving just as Jack was given his message. He heard the gasp of surprise and his hearts warm, knowing it was fully understood. He closes the Tardis doors behind him just in time as his body starts to die.

“I don’t want to go,” he cries out as light and energy fill the Tardis console room. He touches the ancient mind of his machine, wanting her help and she responses instantly. Across the timelines his energy pulsates, he pushes everything forward and into healing his future body. For a second he touches John’s mind, he cries out with joy but then the link is broken as he regenerates. The Tardis holds the link open even at the cost of her own energy. She loves her pilot and is willing to make this sacrifice.

*****

Deep in the bowels of Torchwood their efforts are rewarded as light filled the darkened morgue. Burning bright like the sun and filled with power it searches for its home. It touches the cool form held in statis and fills the silent body. The light knows that this form is his home – that this is his body. The light rejoices and heals, growing dimmer as the empty shell is filled once again with his true essence. The chest heaves with pain as deep inside a new heart grows and beats. The body is returning to what it should be, it’s becoming what it’s always been. The man screams with the agony of new life, but there is only one thing on his mind.

“Jack!”

*****

“Legs! I've still got legs. Good. Arms. Hands. Ooo, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, I've had worse. Chin, blimey. Hair. I'm a girl! No. No. I'm not a girl. And still not ginger. And something else. Something important. I'm, I'm, I'm...”

There was something he’d forgotten. He was sure of it. Something important...something to do with Jack... No, that couldn’t be right. Everything was fine with Jack he’d just said goodbye. Whatever it was it could come back to him. Regeneration can mess up his memories for a while but they will come back. They usually did.

The new Doctor was torn from his thoughts as the whole Tardis shook and exploded around him.

“Ha! Crashing!” he cries, running around the console just missing the flying sparks. Something has drained the Tardis, did he do that? There was no time to think now, he had big problems. Yet, he felt exhilarated and bursting with life. He had something to look forward too, he didn’t know what but he felt it in his bones. Joy filled him and he laughed even as the Tardis filled with smoke.

“Ha, ha! Whoo hoo Hoo! Geronimo!”

***End***


End file.
